As I've been discussing, tantric practices are rooted in patience and understanding. Both partners must agree to engage  in these practices and honor the exercises or it's not going  to work. I'm getting lots of email supporting this, and  questions about how to take it further, but what I have to  stress is that there is no magic button and it's not a quick  fix. That being said, let's get on with the coupling portion.

     Part of tantric lovemaking involves eliminating the routine  nature of intimacy. The timing can be crucial, but a routine  schedule can lead to boredom or tedium. This is harder to  achieve for couples who both work and live together. Throw a  couple of kids into the mix and you've got a real challenge.  The usual night undoubtedly involves making dinner, cleaning  up, throwing in a load of laundry, putting the kids to bed,  and finally calling it a night yourself.

     Lovemaking always  occurs between lights out and morning for most people, but  tantric practices call for spontaneous timing. If you remember, I used to harp about finding out your partner's priorities because you don't wait until after you're married to  discuss the big stuff like finances, religion, motivation,  or spontaneous behavior. Some people thrive on spur of the  moment activities like running out for ice cream or detailing  the mailbox. Others must have routines and order. Even if  you are totally regimented, tantric lovemaking can't be held  to a schedule.

     When you don't expect it, you find your focus is much more  intense. You've been caught off guard so touching feels different, foreplay has more of an edge, and both partners feel  a renewed energy. Tantric lovemaking is not about marathon  behavior, but quality. Males can begin the practice of prolonged gratification by learning to delay ejaculation. The  goal of lovemaking is not ejaculation, but orgasm.

     Men in  their 20's and 30's will notice a renewed strength by not  always ejaculating during sex. This practice is something  I've covered ad nauseum, but it involved strengthening the  pc muscle. It doesn't mean you have to stop in the middle of  it, but slowing down when you notice you've hit that plateau  of no return is a start. By delaying ejaculation you give  her the message that it's about her pleasure. When you give any woman more time to really let go and embrace her own  pleasure, the whole experience is heightened.

     Tantric couples have a special glow and energy that other  people are in tune with, and males who don't always ejaculate  during sex have more energy. Because they are less depleted,  their skin looks healthier, they don't have bags under their  eyes, and once they decide to ejaculate it can be a healthy  release rather than something that spends all of their energy.  I will repeat that these men still experience orgasms; they  just don't always ejaculate. This enables them to make love  more than once a night if their partner chooses.

     Most women  will admit to yearning more than once an evening, but if  their partner can't be aroused more than once, they won't  press the issue. Tantric couples have the satisfaction of  knowing they can fulfill their partners needs plus their own.  There is no lingering doubt about if they're "enough" for  their partner. Tantric practices lead to confidence and harmony. I suggest everybody try this before they pass judgment.  It will be one of the most gratifying exercises you've ever  tried. Good luck!