Stop Waiting To Exhale and Get Into The Game Roni White Guys are tired of rejection, and who can blame 'em? The poor lads can only hear the word no (or see that ever-popular roll of the eyes) so many times before it starts to snap their spirit into splinters. Admittedly, I am of the younger generation, and this may be indicative of my age. But who are we to hold the philosophy that men are the only ones who are supposed to endure this shooting down? Is it because we've been taught over the years that 'good girls' don't make the first move? Well, yesterday's definition of 'good girl' is today's 'lonely girl'. The old 'stay cool and act under-eager' rule hasn't gotten us anywhere but spread out by ourselves on the couch one too many night. Ladies, we've had it good, but the pendulum must swing eventually, and no time like the present-we can't deny that guys have made it really easy for us over the years. They've allowed us to play a passive role to their approaching strategies. And we love it-we love the fact that we're expected to work as much as parking booth attendants (who also simply wait until someone approaches them). We've been spoiled to the point of princessdom-we assume that men should pursue us by initiating the conversation, picking an interesting topic of discussion, asking for a date, and then emptying their wallets in the attempt to entertain us. But is it fair? Well, it was when the woman's father provided a dowery upon marriage (that sum of money offered with his daughter in return for the male's 'courtship expenses.') There are no horses on the streets. No carriages. Your name 'aint Jane Eyre and his 'aint Biff Charming. This is 2000, a new millennium with a new set of rules. And we shouldn't be twiddling our thumbs waiting for a man to make that nerve-breaking first move. It's time to get in the game, girls, and start a little man hunting of our own. Women have made major strides toward equality in the home and in the workplace over the past few decades, but what about in the dating scene? Go to any club on any given night and see how many women are sitting around waiting to be approached by a guy. It's like we're merchandise, and the guys are the shoppers. Listen to some women speak as they leave the club discussing how they had such a bad time because nobody proffered them to dance. But who's really to blame for our uninteresting time, ladies? We are! How can we sit on a barstool or stand in a corner of a club crowded with attractive people and complain when no man comes to rescue us from our self-made asylum? I mean, what are we-attractions at the zoo where the price of admission is a drink, an immunity to rejection and a good line? If we sat our behinds on that barstool then we're the only ones responsible for getting out of that situation, not some guy you haven't even met yet. The male ego's been a pinata for long enough, ladies, so let's give these guys a break for a change and ask one of them to dance, or offer to buy one of them a drink. As much as men love the challenge of the pursuit, there's not one of them that wouldn't trade that in for a night of being the one pursued. So, the next time you find yourself attracted to a guy, stop before you employ your usual tactics of batting your eyelashes and giving coy smiles, and step up to the plate and just ask him out. And yes, ladies, when you make the invitation, you should pay for the evening. It works both ways. But won't it be worth a little cash to know that you didn't have to sit by your phone for three days waiting for him to call to ask you out? Because, let's face it, we all know that the majority of the time we wait for a guy to do something, we end up doing just that ... waiting. And I, for one, am tired of sitting idly by and giving men all the power over whether I have a good time or not, and you all should be too. Single women, it's time to start going after what we want and stop leaving it all up to the fellas. It can't be that hard, they've been doing it for years, and, ladies, anything they can do, we can do better ... and with style. For a man's point of view click here

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